On December 22, 2000, I walked down an aisle that changed my life. It was the night of my wedding; the night when I gave myself to one man forever.
I was not the type of bride who had dreamed about my wedding nor was I one who fussed about every little detail. In fact, there were only two details that I insisted on: two big Christmas trees on the stage and the song O Holy Night played at the very beginning as the guests settled into their pews and stilled their hearts. This was my wedding, yes, but it was also Christmas and I wanted to acknowledge that this night belonged first and foremost to the Lord.
After the song request was complete, the doors swung open and the bride who emerged was hardly ready for the commitment that she was about to make. She was a mess. And, the man she was walking toward was a mess, too. Yet, these two messy people thought it was a good idea to pause long enough on that Christmas night to stand before the Lord and vow their messy lives to Him. And so, against the backdrop of twinkling lights and flickering candles, these two individual messes became one big giant mess. Queue the wedding march.
“A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices.”
Little did I know that when I made the song choice that this stanza would go on to become the theme of our marriage. Our mess made us weary. Weary from striving. Weary from fighting. Weary from trying & trying & trying only to fall flat on our faces again & again & again. Weary from bitterness. Weary from loneliness. Weary from the brokenness that marked both of us.
I don’t know about you but I’m willing to bet that you have had your fair share of weariness, too. Maybe that is exactly where you are at right now. Just plain weary. Bone weary.
Weary from an unanswered prayer.
Weary from a prodigal child.
Weary from sickness.
Weary from singleness.
Weary from grief.
Weary from loving an unlovable person.
Weary from financial crisis.
Weary from worry.
Weary from barrenness.
Weary from addiction.
Weary from parenting.
Weary from pain.
Weary from trying so hard.
Weary from a messy marriage.
Weary from a dried up faith.
My man and I were a mess and remained a mess for a good many years after that first night. Weariness clung to us. But, what a thrill of hope when Jesus burst onto the scene! Hope was born!
God’s presence has changed everything in our lives. He resuscitated our floundering faith and brought light where there had once been only the deepest darkness. The fact that one big giant mess walked down the aisle to begin a life together and has since seen 18 years pass, each one growing stronger and sweeter, is proof that Jesus changes the story. Christ and Christ alone is the reason why our once weary marriage now rejoices.
“Long lay the world in sin and error pining till HE APPEARED.”
If you are weary today my friend, look for Him. He will burst onto the scene and change absolutely everything. I promise.
First, I am a child of God. And, like a child, I am always learning and growing. The more I know Him, the more I love Him. Second, I am a wife to a good man. Missions is his thing while teaching women to love God’s Word is mine. Third, I am a mama to three plus a sweet cockapoo who thinks he’s #4. My children are my ongoing sanctification. Old friends call me Becky, newer ones call me Rebecca, and the most intimate ones call me Beck. You can just call me friend.