Growing up I can remember always wanting to make my own decisions. Wanting to figure things out for myself. And wanting to ‘just know’ how to do everything perfectly. As I started having kids that also translated into never feeling right about asking for help. I thought if I asked for help people would think I didn’t know what I was doing, or that I couldn’t handle things on my own. But as I began doing this thing called motherhood there were so many times I really didn’t know what I was doing and I couldn’t do things on my own. I tried! I really did. For a long time I tried.
But God has a way of using our circumstances to show us our great need for Himself, and, in my case, my need for others. So I started opening myself up to help and new ideas. It has been a journey and a process, but the older I get the more desperate I am to learn from godly women who are steps (and years) ahead of me. They have walked with God and learned so much through it. Learning from them is kind of like a cheat sheet!
Titus 2:3-5 tells older women to teach the younger women how to live godly lives. It says to the older women, "Urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God."
Here are a few suggestions for finding a good mentor:
1. Pray that God will put someone in your life to fill this role. He knows just who you need!
2. Look for someone who is spiritually more mature as well as farther along in life. She has followed Jesus for many more years than you. She’s older, or her kids are older, or she's been in the workforce longer, or she's been cooking longer, or she's taught Bible studies longer...
3. Has she been successful? Has she faithfully served the Lord in her calling as a wife, mother, worker...? This doesn't necessarily mean that her kids turned out perfect or her marriage has never had hard times or that she's never struggled with following her boss’s lead. What it does mean is that in those hard times, she sought the Lord, she fought for her marriage, she continually lifts her children up to the Lord.
She made mistakes in these areas and now as a Christ-follower sees her errors and can point you in a different direction.
4. Can you trust her? You will want to ask questions. You may have problems you need to talk through with her. Is she someone who can keep this between you, herself, and the Lord?
5. Most importantly! Does her advice line up with the Bible? Can she give you Scripture that backs up what she's saying?
Never take a mentor’s advice over the direction God is leading. Godly women are still women which means they are human and they too fall short of perfection. Be honest and let your mentor know where you feel like God is guiding you and ask her to pray about it with you.
You may find one amazing mentor, or you may find a few different ladies who you look up to for a variety of reasons. I have a few. Some I know to call for parenting advice. Some for help with teaching. Others are great at knowing how to handle difficult situations. And the list goes on! I have been beyond blessed to find many ladies throughout my life who walk with Jesus and are pleased to help me walk with Him, too. I pray that you will find the same.
*Mommas, my mom was my first mentor. I don't know what your relationship was like with your own mom, but you can, and should, be your child's first mentor!
Audra and her husband Jordan are called to ministry and he is the senior pastor at their church. They have two beautiful children who bring them tons of joy, lots of laughs, and on occasion new grey hair. She is a former teacher who still loves to teach, enjoys cooking and baking, and has a passion to lead other women to know Jesus and live out their faith in Him.